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Will T.'s post on "Growing Together in the Light: Ministry, humility and community" helped me to recognize that I have taken on the function of elder in an isolated unaffiliated worship group.
The question that kept coming to me and still does - Don't experienced Friends have a responsibility and obligation to encourage, support, teach people, new to friends in situations of isolation, what Friends practices and discipline are?
The situation is that when my husband and I moved from the midwest to Idaho, we discoverd a Friends Worship Group in our new home. The WG was unafiliated, isolated, met for worship twice a month, and worship was always silent. There were four individuals who made up the group, a member of Friends and three people who wnted to become Friends.
I asked if we could meet weekly? With that question I was beginning to take on the role of elder, although I didn't realize it. During the eighteen months that have followed, I continued to ask questions such as: how do you make decisions as a WG? What can we do to make ourselves more visible in the larger community? Do you want to be affiliated with the Society of Friends? What does it mean to be a Friend?
Personally I struggled with what I was doing. I felt like I was being pushy. I wondered if I was bringing about conflict in the group because the one Friend was resistent to any change, and the others wanted to move on. Many times I wanted to slip into the woodwork, but I couldn't, the question of responsibility would raise its head.
What has happend in the eighteen months? We are now under the care of Logan MM, Utah. People feel prompted to speak in meeting for worship. We are connected to one another. We laugh and enjoy one another. While the one Friend has difficulties with the movement, she is still with us. I am now teaching Quakerism 101.
What is your experience in eldering? What was the opening that resulted in your eldering? With your permission, I would like to publish your stories to my blog.
Blessings, Judy
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2 comments:
Judy, what a lovely post about eldering. RichardM, my husband, has been trying to get more people to discuss eldering as well.
I think my first experience with eldering was the day an older, grandmotherly looking woman approached me at a pot luck, and said, 'I hear you're moving, is there a meeting, maybe you'll start one'. My response was total bafflement, I was only a relative newcomer to Friends. That was 23 years ago. We are in North Carolina and similar to you, there was a worship group here, and we were sufficient catalyst to get the meeting to weekly meeting for worship. We have over the years become the elders of the meeting. This past summer, the meeting was clear to appoint us both elders. (there has been a great deal of coming and going in membership over the years within the meeting and previous members were against appointing elders).
Today after meeting we spent some time with a new attender at meeting who is very new to Quakerism and hopefully answered his questions. (Another form of eldering).
Within our Yearly Meeting, eldering is a regular practice, at least at the Yearly meeting itself. I am still surprised when I am thanked for my work as elder. I hope I am a vehicle for God's work.
MaryM
Dear MaryM,
I am surprised to find myself as an elder. Does make sense though. Eldering as it is in its new birth, I find is not known by Friends in this part of the country. I've experienced it at FGC Gatherings, New England YM, NOrthern YM.
Blessings,
Judy
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